Ann Marie's Blog

Unexpected connections. Unexpected inspirations.

I was in Minnesota for a few days last week with some of my SIETAR-USA colleagues, scouting the location for our 2012 national conference and strategizing about the future of our professional organization. 

There's something about the culture of the Twin Cities of Minneapolis-St. Paul that feels really grounding and inspiring to me at the same time. My local friends talk about the small-town feel of their big cities and the way that everyone knows everyone else. Six degrees of separation seems more like one or two degrees of separation there. Unexpected connections and inspirations seem to be everywhere.

One of my best friends from college lives near Minneapolis and we try to spend time together whenever I visit the area. During this recent visit she invited me to a Family Weekend event at University of St. Thomas, where one of her sons is a Senior. She wanted to hear Michele Norris, host of NPR's All Things Considered, speak about her book, The Grace of Silence: A Family Memoir. I wanted to spend time with her and her family so I happily agreed to tag along.

I've listened to Michele Norris and enjoyed her voice and her show for years, but I really didn't know much about her. I had no idea that she was born and raised in Minnesota or that hers was the first black family on the block in a south Minneapolis neighborhood. I knew nothing about her book, and had never visited her website or heard about her Race Card project. 

As I sat in the auditorium with my friend and her family I was captivated by Michele and her story. She described how the original intention for this book, to write about the conversations around race in America, had morphed into a deeply personal family memoir which, in turn, had been selected as the "first-ever community read" in the One Minneapolis, One Read program.

When Michele  first toured the country talking about her book, she printed postcards with the word RACE at the top and invited her audiences to share their thoughts in six words. At the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis last week, people who had read Michele's book stood up and read their Race Cards aloud. Michele said she was awed and humbled by the experience.

Not only were people in her hometown reading her book. They were having the kinds of real conversations about race that she had originally hoped to capture in print.  By exploring her own family's history and sharing their story, she's inspired others to share their stories in a way that has amplified the conversation exponentially.

And she inspired me to return to a second day of SIETAR-USA Board Meetings with a much bigger vision, for our conference next year in Minneapolis and for the impact we can make through the conversations we initiate through our work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Seasons of Culture Shock

Today we woke up to the first really dark, wet, gray, cool morning in Portland in a while. Days like this don't stop me and my friends from exercising outside. We're native Oregonians and we know how to layer our fleece and waterproof shells to stay warm and dry, even in the worst weather. We just pull out the rain gear and hats and step outside. In fact, we actually like working out in the rain. 

Call us crazy. Lots of people do.

Especially people who move here from other parts of the world where the sun shines most of the time. For them, the shock of moving to a new country and adjusting to a new culture, is compounded in Oregon by the slow realization sometime in October or November that the dark, gray clouds are here to stay for a while. By December everyone is going to work in the morning in the dark, and returning home after work in the dark --- even if they leave the office at 5:00 pm! A perfect recipe for magnifying the low end of the mood swings that come along with culture shock.

Unfortunately, we can't change the weather, but we can plan for it and minimize some of the negative effects. Some strategies that have helped my international students and clients adjust and get through the long Oregon winters (which, by the way, include the late Fall and often the entire Spring seasons) include daily doses of:

• Exercise: they join a gym, play on a sports team, sign up for classes, take a walk. Doing some kind of physical activity every day helps to distract them from the weather and makes them feel more energized.
• Fresh air: even on the darkest days, they bundle up and get outside during the middle of the day. The sun may not be shining, but the fresh air can still lift spirits.
• Friends and family: they plan activities with new friends and stay in touch with friends and family back home through Facebook, Skype, or e-mail. They focus on their relationships and not on the weather. 
• Adventure: they get out and explore their new surroundings. They plan activities for the evenings and weekends and try new things like hiking, snowboarding, playing golf or attending an American football or NBA basketball game.
• Clothing: they discover that the key to staying warm and dry in Oregon is layers! They invest in a few items of clothing that can be worn together or separately as the weather changes, which makes them feel more confident about getting outside and exploring. 
• Indoor activities: sometimes when the weather is nasty outside the best way to pass the time is with a fun indoor activity. They make plans to see new movies and plays in theaters, host dinner parties at home or spend the evening in a restaurant or pub with friends. 

 Sometimes they even get a little crazy and start to like going out in the rain!

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Where in the world are my new classmates or co-workers from?"

I love interactive training exercises and am constantly looking for new, engaging ways to bring concepts to life in the classroom and get students up and moving and learning from each other. I've been fortunate to have opportunities to learn from some of the best, like the great training game designer and facilitator, Thiagi, and the brilliant improvisers/experiential facilitators at On Your Feet.

One of my favorite interactive exercises is also one of the simplest.

I call it the Living Map and it's the most memorable way I've discovered to quickly introduce a group of people from around the world to each other.  It gets people up and moving and “seeing” their classmates or work team members differently, through the lens of culture.

Here's a brief description of the activity and instructions for facilitating it:

Objectives

To quickly introduce a large group of new students or team members to each other from a cultural perspective. To increase awareness about the influence of “place” and culture on personal style, communication preferences, leadership and decision-making.

Materials Needed/Set-up

• A map of the world (large wall map or projection on a slide)
• Open space for participants to move around easily

How to Run this Exercise/Activity

• Tell participants to imagine a map of the world on the floor. Identify North, South, East + West and clarify which continents are in the center, left + right. (NOTE: Depending on where you are in the world and/or the nationalities represented in your audience, you may want to adjust the central location).
• Ask a series of questions + instruct people to walk to the place(s) on the map that best represent their responses. In each location, instruct people to talk with the people near them, ask where they “think” they are standing, and re-orient themselves if necessary. Some sample questions (feel free to make up more of your own!):

                   - Where were you born? 
                   - Where did you live most of the first 18 years of your life? 
                   - Where did you learn an important lesson that influences you in your work today? When +                         from whom did you learn this lesson? How does it “show up” in your work style today?

• OPTIONAL: In small groups discuss the lessons learned + present a summary back to the larger group. Identify the most relevant themes + connect them to the program or class agenda.    

NOTE: this activity has been adapted over the years from other similar activities to the point that I can't remember the first time I was exposed to something like it, and I don't know the original source Please let me know if you do and I'll be sure to include it next time!

"Welcome to the U.S. Here's your desk..." Part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote about the way that many new employees are greeted in U.S. workplaces, with a friendly "welcome," a brief tour of their new workspace, and a request from their boss or colleague to "let me know if you need anything else." 

I asked for stories from people who had transferred to a U.S. office of their company from a different country, about the welcome and orientation they received upon arrival in the United States. I requested feedback about what was helpful to them, and what they wished that someone had done or said to make their transition to the U.S. workplace easier.

I compared these responses to my own ongoing research and personal observations, as well as the suggestions outlined in Cornelius Grove and Willa Hallowell's article, Expats from Abroad in the U.S.A.: Six Steps for Effective Integration, and a few tips stood out as worthy of extra attention. If you're already hosting, or preparing to welcome international transferees into your organization in the U.S., you may find these helpful:

• Mentors: When I ask transferees what was most helpful to them, especially during their first weeks in the U.S., their mentor (if one was assigned to them) is typically at the top of the list! Ideally, a mentor should be assigned to each new transferee and this role should be included in their job description and/or performance review criteria. Mentors should be selected because they are already very familiar with the work culture in the U.S. office, interested in learning more about the transferee's culture, and willing to answer questions, provide introductions to colleagues, and offer advice and social support as needed. 
• Local area information: Transferees are often at a loss for things to do outside of work, and a little intimidated by the idea of exploring an unfamiliar city on their own.  Think about ways to provide easy access to information about the local area, including public transportation, weekend and evening activities, and places to shop for familiar foods. A "welcome binder" with maps and brochures from the local Visitors' Information center, along with a list of books or websites and suggestions from previous transferees, can be a much-appreciated resource. 
• A busy schedule: Especially during the first weeks in a new country and office, a busy schedule that has been arranged in advance can really help transferees to settle in and adjust to their new life in the U.S. One person put it this way: "find ways to get new team members involved and busy -- almost overloaded - -- in the first few days. This could be through simple projects they participate in or own - it could be through scheduling meetings with team members they need to get to know - or research projects -- anything that has people feeling like they are contributing and busy from the start."
• Insights into U.S. culture: Wherever your transferees are moving from, it's likely that the way they are used to working and spending their free time at home is different from the way that we work and live in the United States. Whether it's through formal cultural orientation/training programs, helpful books and articles, or simply access to an excellent mentor, transferees need easy ways to get their questions about U.S. culture answered.
• English lessons: Even transferees who come to the U.S. with strong English-language skills sometimes request additional lessons, to hone their skills and learn to keep up with the pace and style of communication in the U.S. workplace. Consider offering language lessons as an option for anyone who is working in the U.S. for the first time.

These are just a few of the things that you might consider as you welcome new transferees into your U.S. organization. If you have other suggestions for helping people settle in and get up to speed quickly, I would love to hear them.

 

 

 

 

 

The first day...

...of school, or work, or life in a new home, a new city, a new country. 

Excitement, anticipation, confidence, anxiety, happiness or dread. A jumble of emotions and a head full of questions.

"Will my teachers (or boss or new colleagues or classmates) be nice?"

"Will my classes or work assignments be too hard? Too easy? Fun or boring?"

"Will I fit in, make new friends, be safe and have a chance to succeed?" 

And my all-time favorite: "will anyone want to eat lunch with me today or will I have to eat alone?"

We all recall those "first days" at different points in our lives, and the thoughts and feelings associated with them. I'm remembering them vividly this week as the children in our part of the U.S. start back to school, and most of my colleagues and clients are easing out of the final days of summer vacations and gearing up for a busy period and new challenges in their work. 

The rhythms of their days are changing, and the new pace can be disorienting, even shocking, at first.

So, I invite you to look around and notice the people in your lives who are having "first day" experiences. Pay attention to them, introduce them to others, help them find their way around their new school or office or city or culture.

Invite them to eat lunch with you.

"I see what you mean..."

For years I've used Powerpoint and other visual presentation tools to explain complex concepts and connect emotionally with my students and workshop participants. I've used VisualsSpeak facilitation tools to help people in work teams learn more about each other, resolve conflicts and create strategies togethers.

I've come to rely on these various visual tools in my work and have discovered that they're especially valuable when presenting to or working with people who don't share English as their native language. Photos and illustrations help me to communicate more effectively across language and cultural barriers. They reinforce and further explain the words on a page or a slide, add richness to verbal descriptions, and cause important concepts to stick more easily in people's minds.

A few years ago I was introduced to a new (at least to me) visual tool, graphic facilitation, that takes this to a whole new level, bringing a live artist/facilitator into the room to:

• Listen and watch intently throughout the class or workshop or keynote presentation,
• Capture meaningful conversations, key concepts and questions and insights that emerge from the group in words and pictures, and
• Create a graphic record of all of this on a giant piece of paper on the wall, for everyone to see immediately and to keep as a permanent reminder of their experience and learning from that day.

Since discovering this profession a few years ago, I've collaborated several times with graphic facilitators and I love the results. Clients and students say it's much easier to remember things because of the images that were created in front of their eyes. They thank us for the graphic notes that they can keep and refer back to later. They can see it again and keep the learning alive long after the details of the class or conversations have faded away. 

 

 

 

 

 

The English Language Advantage

"You Americans, you have no idea how easy you have it! You get to use your native language at work every day."

This comment took me by surprise, coming from a Scandinavian co-worker with, to my ears, excellent English-language skills. I tried to argue, and he argued right back, explaining that while he had studied English in school and used it at work for many years, he still struggled sometimes to keep up in conversations with Americans, especially in meetings when we were all talking quickly and interrupting each other, or speaking in long, run-on sentences like this one.

Since that day I've come to appreciate the truth in his words. I've heard the same complaint from so many other colleagues and students, and observed the very real toll that speaking and trying to understand English all day can take. Frustration, fatigue and embarrassment are common experiences, sometimes resulting in costly business mistakes or damaged work relationships.

When given the opportunity, I try to help other native English speakers understand the advantage their language skills give them in the workplace. I encourage them to consider ways that they could adjust their approaches and expectations when communicating with colleagues who have English as their second, third or even fourth language. 

 Over the years a simple list of practical tips has emerged from our conversations:

• Be aware of potential communication gaps. Pay attention!
• Slow down. Speak at a slower pace and pause more often to listen.
• Use common English words. Simplify your explanations. 
• Be patient, especially when people repeat themselves or ask you to repeat.
• Invite and encourage people to speak up. Pause and wait for a reply. Don't interrupt!
• Be aware of your use of slang, acronyms and pop culture references. Don't expect that they will be easily understood. Use them sparingly or be willing to explain/teach what they mean.
• Provide meeting agendas and expectations in advance. Follow the agenda, create opportunities for each person to take turns speaking and summarize key points in writing.
• Follow up one-on-one after group meetings to  check for understanding, answer questions and offer further explanations.

These are probably good suggestions for anyone with a desire to communicate effectively at work. They're especially relevant for people with the advantage, often unacknowledged or even outside of our awareness, of being able to use our native language all day long.

"Welcome to the U.S. Here's your desk..."

"...and your phone, and computer, and a list of phone numbers and e-mail addresses for people you'll be working with. Let me know if you need anything else."

If, like many of my clients and former colleagues, you transferred to a U.S. office of your company from a different country, you may remember receiving a similar welcome on your first day in your new workplace. If this sounds familiar to you or, in contrast, if you were fortunate enough to be greeted with a more comprehensive, helpful orientation to the U.S., I would love to hear your story. What was helpful to you? What do you wish someone would have done or said to make your transition to the U.S. workplace easier?

For the ninth year in a row I'll be working with a group of clients from several countries in Asia next month, as they settle in to a U.S. workplace for a 7-month assignment. Next week I get to work with their U.S.-based mentors, to help them prepare to welcome their new colleagues. 

As usual, we'll review feedback from previous groups of transferees and integrate some of  their suggestions into our plans. We'll read (or re-read) Cornelius Grove and Willa Hallowell's article, Expats from Abroad in the U.S.A.: Six Steps for Effective Integration.  We'll talk about the differences and similarities in cultural values, work styles, and communication styles and work together to create some simple strategies to make those first days and weeks go more smoothly for everyone.

If you have suggestions or stories of your own that you think would help us, please let me know. You can leave a comment here, or send me an e-mail privately at: annmarie@annmarielei.com.

I'll share the best ideas here in a few weeks, and let you know what else we come up with that you might find helpful. Thanks!

 

 

A place where everybody knows your name

I used to love watching the television show, Cheers. The writing was brilliant, the characters distinctive, and they always made me laugh out loud. My favorite part was whenever Norm walked into the bar and everyone looked up and shouted, "Norm!" Before he reached "his" barstool, a frosty mug of his favorite beer was already poured and waiting for him.

They don't shout out my name when I walk through the door (thank goodness!), but the people who work at my favorite bakeries/coffee shops in Portland have made the effort to learn my name and my coffee drink preferences. They recognize me and it feels good to be a regular customer.

I miss this kind of recognition when I travel to new places, so I try to recreate it by becoming a regular customer for a few days. Traveling with our daughter, Katie, recently we scouted out the neighborhood in each new city and chose a cafe near our hotel that seemed like our kind of place. Small, casual, reasonably priced, with a variety of menu items that we thought we might like. Then we went back to the same place for lunch and/or dinner each day. 

We noticed subtle differences in the service from the first day to the last. It seemed that we were greeted more warmly each day, offered special appetizers in one place, and a basket of bread in another. Maybe it was just our imagination, but we started to feel like we were being treated more like regulars. We had fun experimenting with this strategy, and definitely felt a little bit more at home in each new place. 

When I walked into a favorite bakery in Portland last week, after being away for several weeks, it was especially nice to know that they still remembered my name and had already started making my drink before I got to the front of the line. Sweet!

 

 

Can you do that here?

Sitting in the early evening sunshine in our friends' backyard, I reached across the table, picked up an open bottle of wine, and poured myself a glass. My daughter, Katie, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "can you do that here?" "Do what?" "Pour your own wine?" "I don't know why not," I replied. "Let's ask."

Katie had been studying in France for the past six months, living with a host family and fully immersed in the French language and culture. Now we were in Holland, visiting with some of my old friends and colleagues and she was noticing that some of the social rules she had learned in France, like waiting for the host/hostess to pour drinks for their guests, didn't necessarily apply here. 

When our friend returned to the table and I told her that I had poured my own wine she simply thanked me for helping her out. She was busy getting some snacks for her kids and finishing up with dinner preparations, so she appreciated that we were comfortable helping ourselves. I explained why I mentioned it, and repeated Katie's question to her. She laughed and said, "we don't have those same rules here. You can pour your own wine."

I'm not sure if she meant "we don't have those rules in Holland," or "we don't have those rules in our house because you're old friends." Either way, this little exchange reminded me once again how much the "rules" about polite behavior and simple manners vary from one culture to the next, even from family to family. What would be considered very rude in one cultural or family context, might be seen as extra polite or helpful in another. 

What's important is to be aware that the rules might be different. To watch for signs that you might be violating the rules. And to ask questions when you want to be polite but you're not sure how.